Budgets

Fred and I have been going to Financial Peace University classes.  I think we are learning some important things...where we spend our money and ways to eliminate debt.  Last night we spent a g r e a t deal of time creating our budget, deciding where we want our money to go.  It is critical for us to be conscious about our spending.  It will help us limit wasteful spending, save money, and pay off our debts.

I've been working on budgeting my calories, too.  I give myself a set amount of calories to "spend" throughout the day (not quite as definitive or limited as the money budget.) I decide how I want them spent.  I know that lean protein is a must...fruits and vegetables are important for nutrients and they're low in calories, too...whole grains whenever possible...good snacks.  I have to think about whether certain items are worth the calories.  All in all, I have done fairly well in my decisions...not perfectly, but I am proud of my hard work.

Recording my food and exercise is going pretty well.  I know that keeping a food log is the common denominator for each time that I have taken weight off; it is effective for me.  Regular exercise helps, too.  I have lost almost 10 pounds.  It's a good start!

Conscious eating

I don't know about you, but stress is one of those things that makes me want to eat.  This afternoon, I was thinking too much, and as my anxiety grew, so did my urge to eat. Before I knew it, I had half a bagel in my hand, nearly eaten.  (I chose a multi-grain bagel, that should count for something, right?)  Once I became aware, I didn't continue to eat.  Thinking about Brene Brown's video about vulnerability...I was trying to numb that vulnerability, and it was a nearly unconscious behavior.  That is going to be the toughest for me to overcome.

I went out to lunch with a friend today.  I am becoming very conscious of my choices when I eat out....a step in the right direction! 

Inspiration from Oprah

I look for inspiration anywhere I can get it. I am open to it in things I see, hear, and read.  This morning I was reading January's O Magazine and found inspiration from Oprah.  She writes

What I know for sure: Fear comes from uncertainty.  Once you clarify your purpose for doing something, the way to do it becomes clear. 

Let this be the year you release your fears about what you can achieve. Know for sure what you want and be willing to give yourself what you need to get it.

She reminds me that I can do whatever I set my mind to accomplish.  I have a purpose for making good food choices and exercising. In fact, I have a number of them.  I want to have more energy, relieve the pain in my knees, be able to move with ease, look and feel fit and healthy, stop taking high blood pressure medication, stop taking cholesterol medication, and prove to myself that I can do this.  Because. I. can!  

The way to achieve my goals is to continue to record my food intake and my exercise, eat consciously, make a plan for eating and stick to it, and exercise daily.  I have to ask for help and support when I need it, especially from Fred.

Giving myself what I need to achieve my goal....I have to hold myself accountable.  At the same time, I have to accept that I will not be perfect; but I will not set myself up to fail, and I will not give up.

A Video Worth Watching

Last Thursday I watched this video, Brene Brown: The Power of Vulnerability, that really made me think. (And then on Friday, it was used in a meeting I attended!)  I was meant to see it, one way or another!

Dr. Brown talked about how vulnerability is at the core of shame and fear, but it is also connected to courage, love, and joy.  Being vulnerable is what allows us to create connections with others.  She also talked about people who feel worthy and feel a sense of belonging are the people who believe they are worthy of love and belonging.  Those who do not feel worthy do not believe that they are worthy of love and belonging.

I struggle with all of this ....being good enough....feeling worthy of love...worthy of forgiveness...  Eating can numb those feelings; but not for long. It doesn't work.  They keep resurfacing.  But still I have tried.  Another thing that Dr. Brown talks about in the video is that when we numb vulnerability, but we cannot choose only that emotion to numb; when we numb vulnerability, we numb all emotions, including the "good" ones! 

Numb is no way to live. 

So I am working on it. 

Ups and Downs

I know this is just part of the process, but I would really like to eat well everyday and not have days like this.  Today was one of those "not so good" days.  I was a bit stressed this afternoon and tried to self-medicate with food. (Never a good idea for me!)  I thought microwave popcorn was an OK choice since I didn't have a snack in my lunch bag.  I read the label after getting it out of the vending machine.  It said something like 4 cups was a serving and there were 2.5 servings in a bag.  Calories listed 30 (or something close to that)....what I missed was that it was 30 calories per cup.  In my head I was thinking (not very logically) that it was 30 calories per serving.  Uh...not so...When I went to enter the calories after eating the bag of popcorn, I was finding it to be way more than 75 calories...YIKES! What did I do to myself??  I am more frustrated with myself for caving to the stress than I am for the number of calories consumed.

I guess this is a good reminder that even after a number of days of good choices, I still make mistakes.  Thankfully, it didn't mean that I had to have the rest of the day consist of bad choices.  I made pretty good choices at Fred's work party tonight---ones of which I am not ashamed.

My plan for "next time" because there will most likely be one....keep snacks that will help me attain my goal in my desk, purse, and lunch bag; talk to someone rather than eat a setback snack; or take a walk.

The negative self-talk can still get the best of me sometimes, but I will not give up!

Little Successes

It's funny how excited I can get over little decisions that are good ones...

Today my lunch was a boxed lunch that was provided for me where I was working.  You never know what it might be...sandwich, chips, apple, & cookie or sandwich, pasta salad, banana, & cookie...it can be a toss up.  But today...salad! Salad, Italian bread, & cookie (there's always a cookie!)...a snickerdoodle cookie...one of my very favorite cookies... 

I opened the box...took the cookie out...laid it on the table...and walked away. Score one for me! I left the cookie and went to a different table to eat my lunch. That snickerdoodle cookie was not something that was going to help me get closer to my goal, even if it might be melt-in-my-mouth scrumptious.

I had nice greens with a boiled egg, turkey, ham, really good cucumbers, and tomato!  I dipped my fork in my ranch dressing, and I ate the 3 little (I'm not exaggerating--they were little!) pieces of bread slowly.  The bread was delicious, with some sort of garlic seasoning, and I almost accepted another serving when someone offered it. (What the heck was I thinking?!) But before I took it, I thought about it and changed my mind. I didn't need it. I didn't want it. I had a choice, and I made a good one!


This might be something to get more than just a little excited about. I actually thought about my decisions...in the past I would have had only a passing thought like, "I shouldn't have that extra bread," but I would have taken it anyway. With the cookie, I might have thought I would only eat half, but while it was in front of me, I would have finished the whole thing off! Without thinking!!


These decisions today might be little things, but they are little steps in the right direction. I know some of you who read this might also be working on a goal of your own...remember to celebrate the small successes!

Creating a New Normal for Eating Out

Tonight I had dinner at Dublin Bay with some friends.  These friends are women who LOVE food.  Even before we started meeting for dinner, we often talked about restaurants and food we really enjoy.  Now, whenever we are together, we have a great time discussing food, travel, sports, and gardening.

I was really hungry tonight because I had a very light lunch. I'd been thinking about dinner all afternoon as my stomach growled.  Because I was so hungry, I knew it was even more important to plan ahead (a.k.a. The EASY Part) and stick to the plan (a.k.a. The HARD Part).  This planning and sticking to it has to become my default mode, my normal way of life when eating out.

Looking at the menu, my mouth watered.....fish and chips....mmmmm.... shepherd's pie...oh, yeah....reuben sandwich and fries....yum-my!  None of those were part of my plan, though.  (My former default mode would be to forget about the plan and order what sounded good.)  I planned to get fish---not only because it is "good for me" but because I really do enjoy it!  I had a delicious piece of grilled mahi-mahi with a salad. The house dressing on the side was a delicious splurge! In the end, I didn't feel like I missed out on anything.  I was satisfied and guilt-free. What is better than that?

What additional tips do you have that could help me when I am dining out?

Doing it for me

In the past, I have talked to Fred (my husband) about things that would help me in my quest for weight loss.  One of the things that helps me is having him work on better eating habits, too.  Because he does much of the grocery shopping (I can't thank him enough for that!), the food that is brought into the house is largely determined by him.  When he gets hungry for chips, he buys them.  He is fortunate enough to be able to eat a few chips and then put them away.  Not me!  They continue to call my name until all that is left is an empty bag.

Last Tuesday, when I made this decision to eat better, I didn't ask for Fred's help. I decided that I had to be willing to do it for me, by myself, if necessary.  I could not wait until he decided to join me. I could not use that as my excuse!  In fact, there is no excuse that is good enough to detract me now!  Besides that, I do have Fred's support.  After only a day or so, he told me that he really wants to work on losing weight, too.  So he has been eating better and exercising!  I am excited that he has decided to become healthier because he wants to...and it is so helpful to me, too!

Here's to Beginnings

I have been thinking about writing this for awhile now, and I think it is time. Even if no one reads it besides me, I think this is something that can help me.

This week I have begun a lifestyle change....again...but this time, I have to stick to it. I have tried to eat more healthy foods, and a big thing for me is to keep a food journal. Any of the times I have successfully lost weight in the past, I have kept a food log. For the past couple of years, I have started keeping a food log and then stopped after a week or so. This time, I am sticking with it. I have an app on my iPod called "Lose It!" where I can log my food and exercise. There is a site online, too, but I have not yet checked it out. I will; I just haven't had time to do so yet.

I feel like I am in a good place with this. I can exercise regularly, and for now I am motivated to eat well. I may need help with that in the future, but I have enlisted the help of friends to get me through those times. Hearing positive responses from so many friends when I posted on Facebook reminds me that another thing I need to work on changing is asking for help. I have many people around me willing to help, and I don't have to beg to get it!